African leader shares his top 10 tips for rigging elections


African dictatorUnpopular at home? Down in the polls?

Don’t despair. Help is at hand! I just hope you don’t mind my remaining anonymous. You know how rumours spread!

Elections don’t need to be won. With a little careful preparation they can be – how shall I put it? – helped along!

The right result can be assured.

Here’s how!

  1. Make sure you have your man in place in the Election Commission. After all, they will be running the show, so get your pal on board!
  2. Electoral register: now this is important information. You don’t want to share it with everyone! Keep it safely under wraps until the very last minute – then only give it out in paper form. Can’t be searched electronically!
  3. Electoral register: you don’t want to keep it up to date! Why? So there are plenty of very old people on it, who can be ‘helped’ to…

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